The expression ‘on the fence’ is used to describe a situation where we are undecided, unsure, confused, or simply overwhelmed by a situation and we’re paralyzed or stuck and can’t make a decision. So we sit on the fence, not making a choice for anything. It’s sometimes easier to be on the fence than it is to be in unknown (or known territory). We get into this type of situation when we
- definitely don’t want one choice but aren’t sure about another one,
- are afraid to move either way because we don’t want to do something wrong
- we’re still upset, angry, or singed from a recent bad experience and don’t want to repeat it
- or we’re just plain angry and this is how we show the world that we’re not going to participate any more.
The good part of being on the fence is we are aware of all of the potential scenarios, at least from a distance. The bad part of being on the fence is that we are standing perfectly still, not making a choice in either direction and we feel stuck. We know we’re stuck and we feel bad about it but we just can’t make up our minds about which way to turn. Does this describe something in your life? How do you know if you are on the fence?
Here are five signs that may describe a ‘fence sitting’ situation in your life:
1. You feel really stuck and you know it, but you also feel powerless in the face of what you see are the potential choices in front of you. And you don’t want anyone to know is that you are really afraid to make a choice, so you are pretending that you are time your time in assessing all of your options.
2. You have already done your best and tried your hardest, and your life is still a mess. So you aren’t going to do anything and see what happens next. Since you aren’t able to make a positive difference in your life by trying hard, you’re going to not try at all and see if that works out better for you.
3. The most recent disappointment in your life is still fresh in your memory. You have tried to laugh it off but you are really feeling bad about it. No one knows how much it has shaken your confidence, in yourself and in your abilities, and you don’t trust yourself any more.
4. None of the options you are seeing in front of you are appealing and they all require too much effort, won’t deliver the outcome you want, and you are having a hard time believing that any one of them could have a positive or desired outcome.
5. You want someone else to make the choice for you, or wait until you have to make a choice because you think that the situation will work itself out and then the best and most obvious choice will present itself to you and you wont’ have to make a choice because only one choice will be available.
If any of these situations describe what you are feeling right now, don’t feel bad. We often find ourselves on the fence when we’re faced with an important choice or when we are afraid to make a decision. Being on the fence isn’t the problem, it’s the paralysis and fear that we suffer from when we’re on the fence, which lead to a lack of confidence and fear. Then when we finally have to make a choice, usually because we have waited so long that we can no longer avoid it, the choice is fear-based and powerless, and our results reflect that.
The best way to get off of the fence is to choose from the outcome, not from the choice. We usually don’t know what the outcome will be and since we’re scared, all choices are terrifying. But if we focus on the outcome we want, we’ll start attracting the energy that outcome requires and the choice which matches that outcome will become more clear. It’s possible too that the choice which matches the outcome we want isn’t even one of the choices we’re considering, so getting into the energy of our outcome helps create that energy in our choices. Then we raise the frequency of our perspective, shift the vibration and attract a higher potential outcome because we’re no longer in fear or afraid of making the wrong choice.
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