Jennifer Hoffmaner

Dear Jennifer:  In the past two years, I have lost everything, my job, my home, my friends and I barely speak to my family. Although I have been looking for a job, I can’t find one and I’m living with a friend now that I barely get along with. I don’t know what to do to fix my life and I’m having a hard time figuring out my next steps. How do I get my life back and how do I create the stable, secure and happy life that I want?

Jennifer’s Answer:  What you are experiencing has been felt by so many people in this past decade and it is hard when everything in your life changes like this.  Your response of sadness, fear and regret at these changes are preventing you from creating the new life that you want. While it may be hard to find the energy and courage to see new possibilities for yourself, that is what you must do if anything in your life is going to transform. You  may be wondering why this has happened to you, so let’s talk about the real reasons behind what has happened here.

Everything enters and leaves our life at our conscious or unconscious invitation, so it is not possible to actually ‘lose’ anything. If we don’t appreciate what we have and wish it would go away,  we disconnect our energy from it and it must leave our life. To invite something else in, we have to create space for it by setting an intention for it.

This process is what creates the in and out flow of people, situations and experiences into and out of our life. When we are grateful for what we have and appreciate every circumstance and situation, we achieve closure with we no longer resonate with and its outflow is graceful and effortless. The empty space is then filled with the new things we have set our intention for.

But when we feel angry and powerless, when we hate our life circumstances, and are upset with people and with ourselves, we create an energetic disconnection without first creating the space for the new to arrive. We can then find ourselves in the situation you are in, where everything seems to leave at once and our lives are empty.

Some questions for you to consider are:

  • Did you like the job you had or were you frustrated, angry, and felt limited by it?
  • Did you like your friends or were they challenging and did not serve and support you in meaningful ways?
  • Are you harboring resentment and anger towards your family that you have yet to resolve with them or within yourself?

With the energy moving as quickly as it does now, responses to our desires can arrive very quickly. It doesn’t matter whether we are consciously or unconsciously wishing our lives would change, when we scatter our energy through anger, fear, and feeling powerless, we get incomplete results. The Universe works with us, not for us. It will not create something for us that we do not or will not first create for ourselves. To fill your life with what you love, you must first give yourself closure with what you have allowed to leave your life (what you say you ‘lost’), by being grateful for it and appreciating what you have already created and the lessons it represents. Then you need to start working with your intention to create something new for your life now. It may take some time but then again, you are ready for change so it may also happen very quickly. It depends on how willing you are to see yourself as powerful instead of powerless, how much you can forgive yourself and others and give yourself the closure you need to close these energetic connections to your ‘old’ life and create something new and wonderful in your life now.

You won’t get your old life back (you didn’t like it anyway or you would still have it) but you will create a new and more fulfilling life and learn the powerful lesson of how energy works and how powerfully it responds to you, so you practice gratitude and appreciation and use intention to create your life, instead of scattering your energy unconsciously and then find yourself in the fearful, empty space, as you have experienced.


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