Dear Sandi and others,
This is my testimonial, or rather report on what I’ve experienced since my implant removal.
Right before my appointment, my landlord called to tell me he sold my place and that I had until June to move. My first reaction was feeling a sense of being released from a tangled situation, as his beginnings of dementia are making my interactions very complicated and that I’m being freed to find a more stable situation. I suspect and hope it is a 3-D metaphor for my emotional release and release from my implants.
The next day I woke up to the worse case of uncontrollable diarrhea I have ever experienced and anxiety about what to do next. Then I was guided to look up the dates of Mercury retrograde and then decided to just try to take it easy. Took a nap and then afterwards felt comfortable in my own skin for maybe even the first time in my life. Now I know what people mean when they say they are “comfortable in their own skin.”
From then until now, I didn’t see much change in my behavior or a release from my personal prison to burst out and create the life I’m always dreaming of. I did feel quite elated when you sent me my report on Jerry’s session on me. I felt very clear for a day or so. Then all my habits which form my prison walls came back and I wondered if my implants came back. One day, I even became very aggressive and arguing on FB which is something I’ve been trying to stop. I did get myself to stop doing it right after that. Now that I look back, I think it was some emotional energy processing out.
One great improvement is that I have noticed that my blocked emotional energy is starting to feel like it has rounded edges when it tries to express itself, rather than the jagged and piercing feel it has had. With this smooth feeling of my emotional processing, I’ve been able to be more present with it and be more allowing. Sleeping and dreaming has been such hard work as my denied emotional energy tries to push through during this state. But I’ve noticed that even during dream state, I’ve been able to be more present with my emotional energy and seeing the triggers my dreams present. It’s not complete, but it’s a start. I’ve even had a pleasant dream during this time. I’ve always envied the nap experience of my peers (the retired and almost retired). They often talk about how much they enjoy their naps and now I see that I may be able to enjoy them in the future as well.
I’ve also noticed possibilities of doorways out of my multi-faceted prison of beliefs like, I will never fulfill my dreams, etc.. Those beliefs are coming up strongly and spelling themselves out for me, but I am not completely embracing them even though they hurt like hell. It’s like I’m recognizing that they exist now.
Currently, within the past few days, I’ve noticed strong emotions are coming up for me, but again they have that rounded-edges feel and I am able to see them rather than be completely consumed by them and rush to act on them, thank God. I contacted an emotion many intuitives said I have, but i didn’t recognize. it’s a tremendous grief and frustration from not really manifesting any of my creative ideas for so many years and not allowing myself to fulfill my other desires. I’ve been told I’d have to go through this, but I wasn’t in touch with it. And now I see it. I think I’m gaining the wherewithal to be present for my emotional baggage, which I know is huge. All these years I’ve been hanging on to a thread trying to maintain my own status quo regarding all my emotional energy that wants to be processed. I hope I am successful in processing it.
Thank you so much for your service to humanity,